Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia
I post sad, funny, random, and band related things.I do not promote self harm and I hope anyone who needs to talk knows I am here. (02.16.13)
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oculus reparo” - j.c. (via mydraco)

(Source: agernt, via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)

one day in june,
my friend wrote me a list of things
i am good at.
she did not preface it with anything much,
only a simple
“here you go.”
the title of the document was
“your talents”,
and she had bullet pointed them in what seemed a very
and thoughtful way
and it reminded me of
hermione granger,
a woman caught between the pages of seven
that we had both
at some point
striven to emulate

on what i think is around about the same day
a year later,
it became very clear to me,
that the only one in need of such a list was
the same person who had created it.

i found it curious
that such a person could have such capacity to love
but not

and one day i caught her arm
and i looked at it
and she looked at me
looking at it
and then
she started to cry.
and i am not sure what hurt more
whether it was the feeling of the tears soaking
into my shirt
or the thin, wavering lines of red
on her arms,
ones that she had arranged in what seemed a very
and thoughtful way
and the colour reminded me
of ronald weasley,
who was a character i must admit
to disliking at first
but becoming fond of
and one i know she
had always loved.

my friend is very pale and very slight,
and she is very beautiful
in a way that everyone but her seems to notice.
sometimes i look at her and i wonder at how someone so stiflingly
can have more faith in an paper and ink boy with a lightning bolt scar
than in herself.
but then,
i suppose,
these things have always been very strange to me.
my friend listed my talents
when i did not need them listed.

but i fooled myself into thinking
i did,
and she acted upon
what she saw.
i wonder now,
what i could and would
have done.

and i wonder if my friend
still hurts so much
that she feels she needs to
cut the feeling
out of herself.

and i will not ever write her a bullet-point list,
because it will be too long.
instead i have written her
just over six hundred words of whispered nothings
and fervent wishes that they would make the wispy lines of red on her arms
go away
that i will never show her
but she will find anyway.

but i will read her favourite books
if i must.
i will not tease her for the way the pages of her copies are slightly
because she reads them in the bath.
i will remember that the characters’ middle names are james and jean and bilius,
and i will not ever call harry potter
mostly because he is not
and also because i see him in her every day.

i will love slytherins and i will love gryffindors and
heaven forbid i should leave out hufflepuffs or ignore
i will watch every film at least
seven times
i will appreciate severus snape
and i will listen to every anecdote that she ever relates to me on the topic
even if i have heard it before.
if those seven books about a boy who lived in a cupboard under the stairs
is the only story that ever stays in my head
then i am glad that my friend picked a story
that is worthwhile.

and i hope that even ten years after i write this
she will still love the paper and ink boy with
the lightning bolt scar
but she will love herself
just as much


"But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I’m grateful."

(Source: ayraliit, via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)

I’m in love with you, and I know that love is just a shout into the void, and that oblivion is inevitable, and that we’re all doomed and that there will come a day when all our labor has been returned to dust, and I know the sun will swallow the only earth we’ll ever have, and I am in love with you.

(Source: stiles-lydia, via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green (via aluge)

(via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)

When you go into the ER, one of the first things they ask you to do is to rate your pain on a scale of one to ten, and from there they decide which drugs to use and how quickly to use them. I’d been asked this question hundreds of times over the years, and I remember once early on when I couldn’t get my breath and it felt like my chest was on fire, flames licking the inside of my ribs fighting for a way to burn out of my body, my parents took me to the ER. A nurse asked me about pain, and I couldn’t even speak, so I held up nine fingers.
Later, after they’d given me something, the nurse came in and she was kind of stroking my hand while she took my blood pressure and she said, “You know how I know you’re a fighter? You called a ten a nine.”
But that wasn’t quite right. I called it a nine because I was saving my ten. And here it was, the great and terrible ten, slamming me again and again as I lay still and alone in my bed staring at the ceiling, the waves tossing me against the rocks and pulling me back out to sea so they could launch me again into the jagged face of the cliff, leaving me floating faceup on the water, undrowned.


When people know your name even though you guys have never talked, don’t you just feel great for a second? I know i do.

(via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)


420 is so close I can almost taste all the bad jokes I’ll have to weed through

(via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)


i remember song lyrics from my favorite songs 5 years ago but i don’t remember what i learned in school yesterday

(via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)

Joke of the day.






An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”



Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever



(Source: flyingscotsman, via whispered-s-h-o-u-t-s)

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